Let’s Be Honest

I tried to compose a blog post yesterday. I wrote two sentences. That’s it. Nothing else came to mind except for those two sentences. It was like my mind somehow refused to think. The thing was that I really tried to make an encouraging post. A post that would change someone’s day completely or make someone eager to get to know our Savior.
I got nothing. At all.

Let’s be honest instead, shall we?
Yesterday was one of these days where I feel useless. Yes, that sounded really rough, I’m aware of that. Let me explain.
You know, I want to be this person who boldly speak about our Savior and what he has done and doesn’t think about what others will say. I want to have this love for people only our Father can put in us. I want every word I say to be an encouragement to others. That everything I say and do points to our Savior. I want to speak life in the deadest, darkest nights, as TobyMac says in one of his songs. I want to speak love to the heartbroken and watch them regain hope.
I want to give my all to the Lord and never, ever, worry about whether I’ll make it through or not.

For those who know me personally, I’m not this person at all. I’m not even close. I’m the opposite.
I can be very rude sometimes, and I hardly ever talk about God with people. I have questioned everything that I believe in, even though I have seen several miracles. I have wondered if he’s even here, and I’ve doubted his love, telling myself that he’s not enough. I have shaken with fear thinking that where I am, he cannot reach.

This is why I love the song “You Love Me Anyway” by ‘Sidewalk Prophets’ so badly. It reminds me of the one thing I keep forgetting. He loves me. Just as I am.
That there’s nothing in this world that can keep him from loving me. And that goes for all of you. Whether you’re a Christian or not, God loves you unconditionally. That’s all I really know right now.

Love, Sara

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